Vision or dream in the bathtub after a spectacularly frustrating couple of days…

That doesn’t feel good.
Does it hurt?  (Higher Self)
Was it meant to hurt?
I don’t know.
Could it be something else?
Is this new hurt or old hurt?
I don’t know.

Gawd!!  Stop putting up bricks!  I can’t breathe in here.  
You’re closing me in and I don’t have any room or perspective 
to zoom out and see what’s going on.

No!  I can’t move the bricks.  If I move them, I will fall out.

Just move some… a few.  Here, let me help.

No No No!  I am falling out and I’m scared! 
Ow I’m falling and this cold air hurts, it’s dark.
F*** I’m down a rabbit hole. 
It’s deep in here.  And dark.  Echo-y. 
I can hear whispers and scurries,
I have no protective skin, I hear ghosts. 
I don’t know where I am. 
Echos and ghosts, from everywhere, all over the world. 
If I’m even still on Earth.  Help!  Can anyone hear me down here?

Echo-y far away distant voice-
Hey, while you’re down there, let me help.  
Here’s more stuff for you to figure out.

And an echo memory of my father’s voice saying
“just pull yourself up and get a real job.”

No!  I’m still falling,
don’t give me more heavy stuff to hold, I’ll fall faster!

Distant voice:  Well what do you want?

(me responding in echo whisper scream that you can’t hear,
dream words that don’t come out…)  Please help me!

Distant voice:  I don’t want to go down there.  
It’s dark.  Let me know when you figure things out.

(me dream screaming that doesn’t come out…) 
Please give me a hand.  I’m so frightened down here.
(But the words don’t come out in this dimension.  
And in the falling I can’t tell if you are pushing me down 
or pulling me up, and I’m screaming and fighting.)

I could just have a little light… a match.  Crap.
Now my toes are on fire, and my dress, my legs.
Yup.  I’m on fire.
Burning up in flames, consumed by emotions.  Again.

I’ve burned up entirely,
and I’m just floating now, no body, just dust of consciousness.
Not falling, not feeling, just floating.  Now what?

And I wake up in the bath tub, thinking hours had passed.
I got up so fast to journal that I almost passed out.