Wondering what to do with my life. 
It seems everything I long for is against the American Way
Rent a house?  Commute?  Desk Job?  Bills?  TV?  The mall?  City?
All of it insults my soul.  Deeply.
I am a dryad, mystic, priestess, shaman, healer,
     ancient soul, pagan goddess, gaia spirit.   (medicine woman?)

How do I reconcile this deep longing with my lot in life?

How much do I concede so we can have a place to live,
     when jobs deplete my soul, the city suffocates me.
Please show me another way.
I do not see a path that has barefoot, 
     sleep in branches under the stars,
     wildflowers, meadows, growing my own food,
     helping others from my heart (not my wallet)
     painting, singing with the trees…

If I can’t ever be this, then I think I would rather die…
than suffocate at mindless, heartless jobs,
     contributing to a system I don’t believe in, that makes us slaves.

If I am truly an ancient magical powerful shaman woman,

then how can I manifest a different path?
How can I thrive in a world that values everything fake?
How do I fake it too?
And get by financially?

I am existentially lonely.  Truly very lonely.

For I life I don’t know how to achieve. 
I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know who to ask. 
The Universe?  Angels?
“Hey, how do I thrive in a 3D world that depletes me,
     insults every aspect of what I hold dear?”
I’m grieving and mourning everything I’ve never had in this life.
How do I turn that into hope? And a meaningful life?  An abundant life?
If I’m going to feel like this forever in this lifetime, then I want out.
Or show me another way.