I’m slowly changing my thought patterns.  It’s hard to see progress in myself, day after day.  The enigma of enlightenment is seeing how much you really don’t know. Even though at some deep level- you know.

I’m alternating between full and filled with wonder, and on empty because I sense urgency and I am pushing so hard to expand and learn… on every level… Pushing, yawning, stretching, the urgency is intense, a burning. Pushing to become a warrior (a peaceful warrior) but I have a long way to go yet.

I’m struggling with wanting to escape the rat race so I can totally focus on learning, but I still have to function in a society where I don’t belong. Oh and we like food and having a place to stay, which requires at lease some form of income.