Lessons. So many lessons. I am trying to be thankful for the opportunities to learn and grow, and see it that way (instead of challenges).
Lessons in forgiveness. Lots of synchronicities telling me to forgive, especially myself. What does this mean? I don’t know that I have ever intentionally hurt somebody, I try to do my best. Maybe forgive myself for hiding things people judged and not letting myself blossom? Maybe for judging myself in the shallow earthly way that I don’t even agree with? (get a better job, have a title, buy popular things). Maybe for trying so long to please others that I don’t even know myself? Forgive myself for bringing out the best and believing in others, but not doing that for myself? I don’t have the answer to this lesson yet.
Also lessons in speaking my truth. I feel what others feel. If I hurt somebody, I feel their pain. Standing up for myself is a complicated balance between emotions, intuition, compassion, intellect, empathy. The biggest conflict is my inner conflict; debating if I should say something, and how to say it clearly and concisely, matter of factly, without dram or emotion, so both people understand the rules and boundaries. I have a long way to go in this area.