Edit: This was not big love. I’m not sure why my guides would give me all the signs and synchronicities and put me with someone who was not capable or interested in big love.
I’ve been having such a whirlwind couple years that I can’t even list all the miracles and synchronicities. How magical is that?
Here is my favorite story about miracles and synchronicities…
Mid December 2018- a friend sends me a video of a meditation which asked us to visualize in detail what your home would be like if you had all the money and abundance you could wish for. I wish for a home with bay windows and a baby grand piano, a kitchen big enough to cook in, gardens and flowers, and a bathtub. She laughed at me. I don’t need a mansion. I long for home. (Pianos and home are a long bittersweet story for another time.)
The next week- at brunch with Piano Club after our recital- a colleague wants to give away her baby grand piano so she could buy a grand piano from one of the other ladies. My piano teacher nudges me with her elbow, and I have to decline because I am staying in my friend’s fairy baby nursery and I have moved 14 times in the last few years since divorce. Alas, no room for a piano. The ladies discuss options of storing the piano for me, and tell me to at least consider it.
A few days later, I go to my son and his dad’s place to have dinner and go look at Christmas lights. I blurt out, “Your living room is huge. Can I put a baby grand in it?” He says, “You already have a piano in our garage.” “It’s not a baby grand, obviously I wouldn’t keep two!” (We are still friends, even though we both went on to marry and divorce other people.)
He replies, “The apartment across the hall is vacant. Get your own living room.” Well. That would take a miracle, with my divorce credit and my meager income. I call anyway.
Christmas day, the landlord calls to tell me I’m approved, and they lowered the rent to get me in. Of course, I cry.
Jan 11, 2019 I move in. But the piano won’t make the turn at the top of the stairs, so it goes in the garage. Next to the other garage with the other piano. Hilarious. Now I get to live across the hall from my son, which is weird and awesome.
March 2019, I have a breast cancer scare. (My gramma, aunt, and great gramma all had breast cancer, two died from it, one had double mastectomy and later died from the cobalt treatment.) My dad blows me off and forgets I have an appointment. I sit in the waiting room alone, waiting for the first exam, then the second exam, and then the ultrasound. I’m sad, and scared, and then pissed off. I don’t want cancer. I don’t want to die of it. And I haven’t even lived, it’s been really really hard life. I don’t have family, or a partner. I want love. I WANT BIG LOVE dammit! and to have fun. I sit in the lobby and tell the universe I am ready for some good in my world now. Dr. calls me in finally and tells me there is no cancer. I go home alone, feeling bittersweet with all the emotions.
I do a private ceremony of gratitude and wish for happiness, family, and BIG LOVE.
A week or so later, I have a dream that is so vivid and clear. The dream is so significant, I tell a friend about it. I was at some house, a bbq with friends. We are laughing in the kitchen. A guy comes into the room- it’s someone new but not new? We laugh together, teasing “I kinda like you” when it’s completely clear that we are in love. He gently pulls me in, kisses my forehead, and puts his forehead to mine. It’s BIG LOVE and we know it. I gaze up and I can’t see his face, he has black hair, and he’s familiar to me.
That same day, a few hours later, I receive a friend request on Facebook from my first love Kelly. He has black hair. We met in art class in the 7th grade, he came to my 12th birthday party; we kissed on the bleachers and later in my car when I was 16… He messages me and says “You are hard to find. I’ve been trying to find you for a long time.” We spend hours and days catching up via text, and then decide to meet for lunch. He asks if it’s ok if he hugs me big when he sees me. I grin, that’s a secret phrase that I thought I only use.
At lunch, I casually say, “No pressure. I had a dream about you.” “Ok.” he says. “That’s not weird to you?”
“No. I had a dream too. My mom came to me in a dream- she passed away last year. She told me to look again. I looked again and our mutual friend was back online and I just knew you were still friends. I looked through all her friends until I saw your face.”
July 4- family bbq at his parent’s house… we walk into the kitchen… it’s the same kitchen as my dream.
He invited my piano to live here before he invited me, so I would have a place to play it. I was unwilling to have my piano that far away, so eventually we both moved in. It’s in the bay window. The sun shines in on me in the morning when I play. He already had hollyhocks and lilies and a garden in the yard, we have planted many more flowers. And there’s a kitchen big enough for us to cook in, and of course, a bathtub.
