What am I supposed to be learning from so much pain and struggles?!
How can all these painful lessons be good for me?  How can I come through this stronger when I don’t even get a chance to stand up or catch my breathe between challenges, before I am knocked back down again, punched??
Universe, if you have a plan for me, must it be so painful that I lose all faith in humans?  In humanity?  That I doubt all that is good?  That I am afraid to trust anybody?  That I fear I am bad for my son? 
He is watching and learning everything I am.  How can I give him hope when I don’t have any?  How can I reassure him life is worth it when I myself don’t believe it?  
I give up.  I surrender.  God Source and universe, show me what to do.  I am scared.  If this is how the rest of my life is going to be, I am done.  Please don’t torture me with painful lessons and make my son watch.