Long talk with L. today on my way out of town. I had to pull off the side of the road so we could visit before I lost reception. Her guides are from other planets and places. I’m not sure about mine… Her guides told her to tell me I’m an ancient soul, as old as time. I have reincarnated many lifetimes on many planets and galaxies.
She says I cam here on purpose, and chose the most painful, abusive childhood, on purpose. Not from one, but four parents (parents and step parents). I took one for the team. Because experiencing all that pain and healing will not only help others heal, but will raise the vibration of love on the whole planet, change the whole grid of humanity here.
Well that sounds a lot better than being a hopeless victim! Gives me a purpose, a reason for it all, and I can turn it into something beautiful, unconditional love or something. Since that’s why I came here.
We also discussed the split that happens in the psyche with too much abuse. It’s a separation that is necessary for survival, like a starfish that cuts off a limb to get away from predators. But how do you heal that split? How do you bring the two parts back together? Re-attach the leg? Or soul? The vulnerable authentic child self that has been tucked away and protected, and the “functioning” adult self? Plus… two distinct halves of the brain that function and process entirely differently. Plus the shadow self and light self… and living in human 3D dimension as well as in higher vibration. How do we bring all those fragmented selves together into one cohesive well adjusted whole?
We also discussed our families- if we can heal enough to deal with them and no triggers and attachments… that is ultimate mastery. Or- are our parents so dysfunctional that we must sever ties completely? Maybe that is master- being complete in our own right, without a family?
Our families cord into us (energetically, like electrical synapses and magnets, vampires to suck our energy and keep us depleted, and we are so accustomed to that vibration that we keep going back because they tell us it’s love, and each time we think it will feel better.
Maybe the mastery isn’t in resolving it with them, making peace and non-attachment. Maybe mastery is in cutting off the blood supply and being whole. I don’t even know. I suppose if they are doing more harm than good, they aren’t good for me.