I want to feel loved, content, in my place, that I belong both in my body and on this planet. I want to feel safe, grounded, connected, oneness with all that is good and divine in the universe.
I want to feel strong, healthy, fit, limber, radiant, fluid. I want to eat foods that nourish me, and surround myself with people who nourish me too.
I am afraid… Afraid I am not strong enough to survive the process of healing. Afraid there isn’t enough time or money to learn what I need to learn to grow and heal. I am afraid there is so much damage that I will never be ok. What if I can’t turn it into something beautiful? What if I always feel raw, vulnerable, unworthy? What if I never fill up this empty space within myself, no matter how much I give and love? How can I inspire and help heal women when I myself feel small and vulnerable? How can I be a good mom if I never had a mom? How can I ever feel loved when I wasn’t wanted? How can I find balance between feeling so much love for the world, and feeling so sad at the same time? I feel raw and in wonder and blessed… also lonesome, weird, and so sad. I am frustrated with what is, and so hopeful for what could be. I feel so connected and alone….?
I want to make a difference. I want everything to matter. I want there to be more than just… this?
Can I learn to comfort myself? Can I hold me in my arms, gently tell me it will be ok? Will it be ok? Would I believe me?